The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
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