there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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