Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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