Porn is love you can see.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize