I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I cockslap morals
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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