We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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