i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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