so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
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I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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