as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
A+ Viking dick
Randomize