isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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