My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize