Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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