we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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