come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize