We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize