He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
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I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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