i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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