My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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