i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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