He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
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Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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