Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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