dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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