Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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