Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
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