U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize