My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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