Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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