What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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