omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
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