we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
4 words: hood of his car
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
