So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
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