what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize