I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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