First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize