just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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