ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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