I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
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I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
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Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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