New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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