He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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