My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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