So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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