I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize