Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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