we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize