So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize