Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The power of my boobs compel you
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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