We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I love you. Go after that dick
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize