yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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