and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize