My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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