I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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